ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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