Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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