sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
