If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate all girls vehemently.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
