Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
tell me about the fingering
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