Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
