Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
