we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
