If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
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Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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