WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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