***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
