why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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