we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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