real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Are my feet made of real feet?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Randomize
