help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
