listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
