And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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