hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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