i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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