he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
