Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
too bad you live with your parents still
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize