Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize