saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
