3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
