The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we're making bets on your personal life
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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