tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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