I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
