I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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