Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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