i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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