Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So many bounce houses so little time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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