I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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