You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
