I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.