I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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