I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
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i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions