I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
