I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
