If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize