Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
