hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
