I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
