Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
