So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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