Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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