We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.