I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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