Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
