I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
