So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize