I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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