Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
soo... how was my night?
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