the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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