coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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