Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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