Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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