thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
