Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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