i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we're so committed to being not committed
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