I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
