so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
