I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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