I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
