Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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