You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I need moral support for this bender
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
